Home sweet.....

 Home sweet home hospital??

Here we are again....went in for my appt and was told that he wanted to admit me, start IV antibiotics and post me as an add on case tomorrow for the OR. He wasn't outwardly impressed with how my wound appeared or the fluid that had accumulated but me having symptoms of fevers, chills, nausea etc. is what bothered him. Bacteria are sticky and theres only so much your immune system can protect against (again IF your immune system is operating at 100) but ultimately when you have a contained infection it needs to be surgically managed. Which means washing it out with a bunch of sterile saline and then removing the device. I will be left flat on that side for a few months, which is probably going to be a challenge my psyche, but we will see. So as frustrated and disappointed as I am, it's the best course of action to getting me healthy and moving forward in this process. The unfortunate thing is this surgery will postpone my chemo to allow my wound to heal/clear the infection. Not sure for how long, but of course that's always a daunting thought if there is more residual cancer cells than we originally thought. But I can't let my mind go there, I just have to trust that this is what needs to happen for now. I am BEYOND lucky for a huge group of friends and family that have supported me since day 1 and still are rooting me on and lending a hand, even when they have a lot going on in their own lives. Thank you all for being so amazing, you're what keeps me going. 

I was not expecting the process to happen this quickly but I am ready to be on the other side. I have no idea when OR timing will be tomorrow, NPO (nothing to eat/drink) after midnight is never fun so I hope it's not too late in the afternoon. For now I'm gonna binge watch all the trash tv and try to get some sleep tonight (wishful thinking). 

DON'T take your health for granted. Don't take your time and routine for granted. It's never any fun living appt to appt and having to put things on hold. 

TTFN. 💜 Peep the view from my penthouse suite: